In my head I sound like George Clooney – deep and sexy. But when I hear a recording of myself, I’m reminded more of Stevie Urkel. The voice inside my head is a lie. Inside your head too.
It´s a universal human phenomenon. If you are like most human beings, then you dislike the sound of your recorded voice. You avoid it. You certainly don’t want to work on it.
Think about this for a moment… Your voice is your most important communication tool, and yet you cannot really hear yourself like others hear you. If you cannot hear yourself properly, then how can you be certain that your voice is not sabotaging your messages and sending conflicting signals?
Have you ever heard someone say one thing, and yet you suspect they mean something entirely different? Like a slippery used car salesman who promises one thing while your suspicions start to scream that it might be a completely different can of worms? Like an American presidential candidate whose words say one thing, but the voice gives you a completely different message?
Maybe you are telling the truth or maybe not, but the voice inside your head is a lie. We are all deaf to our own voices. We don’t like them. We don’t want to hear ourselves. We think we are better than we truly are.
Maybe that is why we never even think of the fact that we can actually choose many different voices to go along with and strengthen specific messages in our speeches and our presentations.
You´ve got 30 seconds
But it gets worse. It’s not only that you can´t hear yourself, but whenever you take the stage to present or stand up to lead a meeting, your listeners are going to instantly judge you. According to numerous research studies, first impressions are made within the blink of an eye. Within as short a time as 30 seconds or less, audiences will already have judged your personality. If they find you to be dynamic, then they will tune you in. If they find you to be boring, then their minds will escape other places and you will fight an uphill battle the remainder of your pitch or presentation trying to win them back.
And the newest research and neuroscience shows that your voice is absolutely a key element. During the first 30 seconds, it isn’t as much your words as your voice.
Your facial expressions and body language are very important, and most of us know this. But how much have you considered the impact your voice has? Your voice is how audiences will judge complicated things like personality. Your voice will quickly establish whether you sound competent or clueless on your topic. Your voice is how audiences will judge whether you sound credible and trustworthy or not trustworthy. Your voice is how audiences will judge whether you sound authentic or if you are just faking It. This is the harsh reality. You will be instantly judged and your voice is a key element.
This is the harsh reality. You will be instantly judged and your voice is a key element.
If the first problem is that you cannot hear yourself, and the second is that you will be judged, then the third problem is that most people don’t believe that they can change their voices. They just assume that they have the voice that they were born with and that’s it. Nothing can be done about it. This is very, very wrong. And it is a lot easier to take control of your voice than you probably realize.
Next time you leave a voice message for example, stop for a moment to think about what messages (aside from the content) you are transmitting with your voice. What was the tone? Was there a friendliness in your voice? Was there urgency? Did you signal that you were stressed? Angry? Depressed? Bored? … or just nothing. Was your message completely devoid of any emotion? Is that truly what you intended? Are you the kind of speaker that others will want to listen to?
Are you the kind of speaker that others will want to listen to?
You are used to listening to other people’s voices, but how often do you take time out to listen to your own? Most voice mail is ill-prepared, dull and can be difficult to understand. Because one’s own voice sounds acceptable in one’s head, many people don’t bother to project their voice or to add any emotion to it. Rather, they let it dribble down their chins leaving the listener with an impression of sloppiness, or at worst complete incomprehension.
Your voice is your most powerful communication tool. You must own your own voice! Take charge of the airwaves. Learn how to harness the full power of your authentic speaking voice.
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